Wednesday, March 2, 2011

MY God, MY Savior, the new Love of MY life!

being raised in a Christian home i always believed in God and for the most part had a good relationship with Him. or so i thought. the past few years i have struggled so much with... well with pretty much every aspect of my life. and with that came the downfalling of my faith. now i still always believed He was there... knew it... but pretty much ignored Him. until this past weekend. i would say i found Him again but He was always there... never hiding... just waiting patiently through all of my sins and mistakes... loving me anyway. but i saw Him... in the faces of some very close friends. and i felt Him... when their arms wrapped around me. and i fell in love with Him! having had so much heartbreak in the last few years i finally realized what ive been missing... not just God... MY God, MY Savior, the Love of MY life! i have been spending every spare moment pouring myself out to Him... reliving all the hurt, disappointment, sins, and my personal stupidity. giving Him my heart to hold and heal... so someday it will be whole to only ever give away one more time. to the man He has set apart just for me. soaking Him in... talking to Him all throughout my day... learning that even if He wouldnt have someone for me... He is more than enough. my heart is His now and its much safer than it ever was with me. there have been a lot of tears... but with each tear He is releasing my pain, healing my hurt, breaking down the walls i built, and bringing me joy once again. i am in love!... and He is always by my side, always has His arms around me, loving me through my mistakes... unconditionally in fact. :) i heard a quote several years ago that i didnt understand then... but it is a daily prayer for me now... "a woman's heart should be so hidden in God, that a man has to seek Him just to find her".